CLEARING by mud howard

 

CLEARING
by mud howard

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I…..walked…..alone…..at…..night…..inside…..the…..throbbing…..dome…..of…..men

who…..thought…..I…..was…..a…..man

and…..did…..not…..assault…..me

I…..found…..you.. ..bloated…..and …..glowing….. on …..the….. bed

you…..unscrewed….. my….. nipples….. to …..a …..Janet …..Jackson …..track …..until

a…..pile…..of…..warm …..jewels …..poured….. into …..your …..cupped …..palm

you …..thought….. I….. was …..a …..girl

 

I …..didn’t….. know….. what …..to …..think

in….. that….. picture….. you …..keep

my….. chest….. is….. a …..ripple …..in….. the….. lake….. of….. my …..shirt

I …..am …..a …..human….. animal …..covered …..in …..red …..marks….. of …..shame

on …..the …..beach …..everyone …..is….. in …..their …..bodies

july …..is….. on …..fire

I …..am …..leaving

so …..many …..important …..people …..behind….. me

 

I…..release….. you …..from …..forgiveness

I …..watch …..your …..name…..light….. up …..blue

on…..the….. box …..in….. my …..pocket …..you …..know

how …..a …..person …..can …..be …..changed

it’s…..not….. the….. same …..as …..changing


mud howard is a non-binary trans writer who fiercely believes in the healing power of the selfie. mud curates pnk prl, a queer erasure zine, and GLOW, a bi-monthly queer poetry series. mud is a graduate of the low-res MFA Poetry Program at the IPRC in Portland. You can find their work in The Lifted Brow, pnk prl, #Trans Anthology and THEM literary journal. They love to lip sync, show up to the dance party early, and paint their mustache turquoise.

 

 

Image credit: Joshua Fuller on Unsplash

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