by F.J. Bergmann
My, what a day we’ve had! Nothing like forgetting
whatever it was we had to do and wherever it was
we had to be, achieving perfect discontinuity with
the rest of the universe, a day late and a dollar short—
well, it runs into 5 figures if you listen to the IRS—
I prefer to listen to death metal, which if you crank up
loud enough can make whatever’s going on inside
your head seem mellow and serene in comparison,
and it also seems to facilitate driving real fast
on strange roads in the dark, as a sort of bonus.
And why do unmarked cars follow me everywhere?
At least I can say I’ve got a following, although I wish
they felt the urge to donate all their worldly goods
to the cause. ’Cause even if the IRS were paid off,
we wouldn’t have squat, but hey, who wants to retire?
Not that I’ve got a job to retire from, but I’m thinking
of looking for one any day now. Any day. And then
we could afford to go on vacation, Easter in Cathay,
that kind of thing; ocean views, teeny bikinis, irate deities,
enormous jewels, erupting volcanoes, panicked flight,
missing passports, opium smuggling, throwing ourselves
on the mercy of the court. Ask and it will do you little
or no good. My bad. My not want job anyway. Anomaly.
Anomie. Enemy. See, we can get there from there.
I have a map, dilapidated but still useful, if you catch it
in a good mood. Smearing it with chocolate frosting
would fix that. That fix we’re in, did you forget?
No job yet. Any employers in the room? Oh. Good.
Maybe some of you could help me with interview skills.
Try not to answer personal questions with “Fuck off,
you moron.” Try to feel observed rather than persecuted.
We also serve who only stand and prate.
F.J. Bergmann writes poetry and speculative fiction, often simultaneously, appearing in The 5-2, Black Treacle, Lakeside Circus, On Spec, Right Hand Pointing, and elsewhere. F.J. is the editor of Star*Line, the journal of the Science Fiction Poetry Association, and poetry editor of Mobius: The Journal of Social Change; recent awards include the 2012 Rannu Prize for speculative poetry and the 2013 SFPA Elgin chapbook award.
Image credit: Camil Tulcan on Flickr